Feel ANGER then ACCEPTANCE

On the other side of ANGER is ACCEPTANCE. They are parts of a whole. That was the concept of this typography I sketched in 2020.

It’s a sequence: ANGER then ACCEPTANCE. First, you have to know it’s okay to feel angry — that it’s not a negative emotion. It’s an emotion, period. No binary classification or judgment. Give ANGER a negative or positive meaning, and you give yourself the same thing: judgment.

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I was drawing a lot during the pandemic as a non-electronic night-time activity to soothe myself before bed. 

I felt angry about many things last year — racially motivated violence, murder, real estate zoning laws, voting laws; income inequality; people rolling their eyes at COVID-19 precautions and infecting friends, family, and community members, which in L.A. led to trucks parked outside hospitals to house the overflow of corpses. The list is longer but I don’t wish to feed it more attention. And this year, I feel angry about similar things with similar people. 

So, how do I feel ANGER but not condemn, criticize, and wish pain and suffering on those I feel angry with? It’s hard. Some days, I do feel like hurting other people. That doesn’t sound like a civilized thing to say but it’s an honest thing. 

via GIPHY

Where does ACCEPTANCE come into all this? It’s remembering that I am capable of feeling the range of emotions, some of which feel unpleasant. It’s remembering that just because I’m feeling vengeful and violent, it doesn’t mean I’m going to follow through and do those things. Acceptance is acceptance of the bigger picture: my emotions are temporary states. Once I allow them to pass, I can feel other things. 

One of the most natural ways for me to feel ANGER and allow it passage is really just to acknowledge it. It can be literal. I can say, “Hello, anger. We meet again. I hear you! Yeah, you want to do those things, because you’re feeling afraid of the ones you identify as threats.” 

That’s the beginning of the ACCEPTANCE process. But it can look and sound different for you. And it’s not a one-time thing where you remove ANGER and it never shows up again. It’s building a relationship with all the parts of yourself, so you have more kindness with yourself — which over time extends to the people around you.

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"I didn't know bunnies made mac and cheese."

So said the supermarket cashier after I claimed my night was “all right.” She had just scanned five boxes of Annie’s Shells & White Cheddar, each with a rabbit poking out of the brand logo. I smiled genuinely — I did appreciate her joke — and writing this now, I appreciate her fresh perspective and her attempt to bring some light to me.

This cosmic playground offers up kindness and compassion to see and receive…when we’re ready to see and receive them. You and I have wireless connectivity to a source of lightness — even in the darkest moods. And yes, that WiFi signal can feel nonexistent during those times, but you can feel a hint of it in areas where it’s stronger. And when you’re ready (at your own pace, not anyone else’s), you can keep following it. You might just discover that rabbits make macaroni and cheese.

“And these are the winning game pieces” was the last thing “Suzy R.” (according to my receipt) said handing me the blue pieces for Monopoly, played every year by grocery store shoppers like myself. Walking out of Pavilions as a winner, I produced my second smile in an hour.